Downfall

Downfall

In the beginning it was all fun and expensive,
We could laugh together, cry together and talk hours about our interests,
But slowly as the days seemed to pass and the weeks turned into months,
Everything that we once had started to disappear,
Just like it all had been forgotten, like it had never happened and was all just a fading memory,
I try to hold tight onto that memory with the hope that they ever will return,
That they will see me again and that it will all go back to what it once was,
But that isn't easy when you know they won't come back,
And that is when you realize... You are all alone,
Sometimes these moments come back again and I feel like it's just like in the very beginning again,
But then that person leaves and I feel like a fading shadow again, which I don't want to be,
I want to be more then just a shadow,
I want to be more then just a forgotten wraith,
It hurts and feels like just being stabbed in your heart with a sharp knife,
And only the same person can take the sharp knife and heal the painful wound,
When you are around them, the same pain comes back, day after day, night after night,
Until you don't see him anymore,
Even then, when you see him after many years, the same feeling comes back, somewhere deep inside,
Like a scar being pulled open with a pair of scissors,
You keep feeling like you lost a friend, keep asking yourself if he even was your friend, because you ask yourself if they even were friends from the very beginning,
It gives you trust issues and makes you lose the faith in yourself,
You become isolated in another way and a easy victim for bullies,
It can turn out even worse and worse,
It makes you ask yourself what you've done wrong and how you can say sorry, or if you EVEN can say sorry,
And who could have though that ignoring and neglecting could hurt?
It is not very often that you'll find a mirror of yourself, but when you do, hold back in your mind that there always is a chance that you will lose that person soon or later in life,
There are times that you will stay forever and always friends with them,
But out of the ten times, there is only one friendship big and good enough to get survive all thunder and lightning in life,
And this person can stay your friend forever,
Cause that's a promise that once was made,