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Broken Leaves Chapter 1

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Pairing(s): France/England (UKFr and FrUK) & America/Canada (side-pairing).

Warnings: Yaoi, Sexuality, Depression, Dark, Gore, Mpreg, Abortion (character dead), Suicide-mentions, Self-Harm, Dead (not of a main character), Sometimes a bit OOC like, Slight Grammatical errors (English is not my first language, but I promise, that the errors aren't huge).

Incest? Not really, in our AU Canada and America are not blood-brothers. They wanted to be brothers as they never had any. But later they did fall in love. This story was based on our previous story The Decision Of Love and takes place around 20 years later. Since the first story was rather poorly written and has many historical inaccuracies we do warn you incase you still want to read it. Don't expect the first story to make sense, we might not even like it as much as we used to so if it gets to many hate comments we will delete the first story.

Human or Countries: Countries but they are able to die and get wounded.

Summary: England has finally made his decision in love by choosing for France. And not long after America falls for Canada, again. Things couldn't get better! But what if a drastic twist in life leaves France terribly depressed? He no longer accepts any kind of love or happiness and while he gets deeper into the darkness, England tries everything to save his lover. Warning!Mpreg

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Chapter 1:

"Remember that you don't choose love; love chooses you. All you really can do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing then reach out and give it away" ~ Kent Nerburn

Everybody knew that when the years passed things chanced and as the years started to pass Arthur slowly started to realise that he really had to make a choose. You can't play around with people's hearts forever. But even so he didn't know that by making the right choice he would once again hurt someone he loved. And that's not only the person that won't get Arthur's love returned, but also the person he will choose to love. No, this has a deeper meaning. A meaning that only an old kind of sorrow can explain. And that was maybe one of the things Arthur had wished he'd never had done…

Not only did the lives of Arthur, Francis and Alfred change, but also the lives of the other Nations. Bella Liesel Beilschmidt was born. And the three couldn't wait to meet her. After all… It was sporadic that Countries had children. And Ludwig and Feliciano were overjoyed with their new daughter.

"Are we already there?" Alfred wailed, he clearly was getting tired of the long trip to Italy, even though Nations travel fast, it felt like they had travelled for an eternity.

"Can you please stop wailing?! We arrive there when we arrive!" Arthur said a little annoyed, Francis chuckled slightly. The French Nation was sitting right next to Arthur. Of course the two had a fight again about who would be the one to sit next to Arthur, but then again Francis won the small game. If that stupid game hadn't happened Alfred would have been the one to sit next to Arthur!

"Oh come on Amerique, it isn't so bad to wait! You know what they say! Haste makes waste!" Francis said teasingly.

"Oh come on dude!" Alfred growled and crossed his arms. His eyes drifted off towards the window, at least it seemed peaceful outside… And hot.

Silence.

"Uhm… Now we're going to a baby shower. What do you guys think about, children? I knew you raised me… But still, I was kind of wondering?" Alfred turned his head back towards the two Nations that sat in the front seats of the car and another deadly silence followed. Oh god, for a moment it seemed so silent as if both Arthur and Francis had fallen dead. After a while Francis was the first to open his mouth and Alfred sighed in relief, lucky, at least they were alive!

"Uhm… It's quite hard to say, Alfred darling. We Nations have always wanted to have kids, yet it was quite… A bad idea to have them. We still are not quite sure what Elyse is. What if she and Bella are both humans? Do you have any idea how much it would hurt their parents, mon ami?" His voice sounded normal, but deep down Alfred could make out that he was sad. They all wanted to have kids, yet, it might be a bad idea of what could happen. In their lives they'd seen so many people pass away around them, people they knew, people they loved and some Nations had even fallen in love with one of those people. They were able to deal with all those pain, but would they be able to deal with the pain of losing their children?

"I guess you're right dude…" Even though Alfred didn't quite get a reassuring answer he knew that he wasn't going to get more out of them. His eyes trailed back towards the window. Tree's, houses, plants, grass, cars. He tried to make sense of what he was looking at until the car finally started to slow down and a rather big house appeared next to them.

They were so happy to see their friends again, Alfred was happy to see Kiku again, Francis Gilbert and Arthur… Well… Let's just say he had his imaginary friends.

They all worked together, trying to help one another as they made the party ready. Vladimir, Lukas and Arthur cleaned the house up – the house was quite messy after the Nations had rushed to the hospital – and made some drinks ready. Elizaveta, Katyusha and Lili decorated the house. Francis, Sadik and Yao made some food ready – Arthur wanted to help at first too, but none of them allowed that… you can guess why – and despite small snacks they also cooked some meals for the people who wanted more. And at last Alfred, Simon and Jett decided on the music and some small events. The other Countries, let's just say they sat at the couch and watched what the other Countries did… Or they talked to one another, which is a bit more logical.

"Surprise!" Everybody shouted as soon as Ludwig opened the door and helped Feliciano inside the house with the wheelchair. The Nations had heard that his labour had been rather difficult and that he was unable to walk for now. In his arms he held a child, wrapped in a cute little blanket, her eyes were open and alert. Her eyes were the same colour as Ludwig's but her the little bits of hair told everyone that she was going to have Feliciano's hair colour.

"Hu? A surprise-a party? For Bella and me-a?" Feliciano smiled happily as he thanked his friends. "Grazie!"

Arthur bit his under lip, he had almost killed these two in the past and being here with them made him feel rather uncomfortable. Sure, there had been fights in the past with one another, but forgiveness could go really slow when they did something terrible to each other.

The hours passed very fast, probably because all the Nations were having lots of fun. Francis, Arthur and Alfred finally got their time to look at the little baby and so had Ivan. Poor child, Ivan would scare the crab out of her if not careful.

"Nohoho~, She's so perfect, c'est magnifique!" Francis said as he gazed at the tiny creature and sighed slightly. He slightly bow towards Bella's direction and cooed her by rubbing her tiny little cheeks. She was so cute! From the moment that Francis had put his eyes on Bella a pang of fuzziness shoot through him.

Ivan came into view, leaning down and Bella shrinked a little into one. The poor girl, of course that big Nation was getting the creeps out of her!

"Oh! Maybe she'll become a Nation too! Then she can become one with Russia!" A few small sobs escaped Bella's mouth before she started to cry. Hm… As strange as it seemed, these Nation children sure were already very smart for their… age? No tears came of course, it takes a few weeks before babies start to produce tears.

"What are you doing you wanker! You are scaring the little girl!" Arthur hissed and pushed Ivan away, glancing at the small creature in the crib he realised how much he had missed to be around kids. Incredible that Nations could create something so beautiful, innocent and fragile, all at once.

"If she becomes a Nation I can always take care of her!" Arthur smiled sweetly as he softly spoke these words with love and looked down into Bella's beautiful sky-blue eyes.

"No way dude! I'll save her because I'm the hero!" Alfred shouted… Probably a bit too loud because Bella started crying even louder. None of those Nations had any idea of how to deal with kids, at least not at this moment. Ludwig quickly rushed over to the crib, picked Bella up and started to comfort her.

"Ssssst… Daddy is here it's alright my Sweetie." When she had stopped crying Ludwig turned angrily towards the other Countries. He wanted to shout like he always did on the World Meetings but instead he didn't. Everyone still had to get used to this new sight. He looked even more intimidating, yet the sight was quite adorable as well. He was really like a father protecting his little girl.

"S-Sorry… Never mind that!" Arthur apologized as he held up his hands in defence. Francis stared at the little baby and slightly smiled through his lips. Somewhere this sight hurted him. Maybe because it started to whet him that he also wanted to have a child of his own someday… But that would never be possible of course.

The party went on and at some point Lovino smashed a bottle of wine over Spain's head. After he had changed he went to his friends Francis and Gilbert. Bella was brought to bed with Feliciano as the two were rather tired, but Ludwig stayed downstairs with all the others, now the party was more like a cosy gathering.

"So how's the love life going, Antonio?" Gilbert asked and gave him a nudge.

"Heh heh, good actually." He looked around him then leaned closer as he didn't want anyone else to hear what he was going to say.

"I actually proposed to Lovi, but don't tell anyone okay! Or he'll get mad at me haha" Francis and Gilbert looked at each other for a moment, then back at Antonio.

"Oh really? We didn't know you were that serious." Gilbert said, a little confused at first. It was clearly audible that none of them had expecting him to get into a serious relation. And if he would they had expected it to be Emma. After all Antonio and Emma were in a relation long ago though it didn't work out, no one knew it except them.

"Toni, don't get this wrong, but are you sure about this, mon ami?" Francis asked. Antonio looked at them a bit confused.

"Sí! Of course I am! I love my Lovi."

"But he is, well, pretty abusive mon ami. He always yells at you and he even hits you…"

"But he doesn't mean that…"

"Mein Gott Antonio! He just slammed a bottle of wine over your head!"

"Oui. When he was small it was all still fun and games, but you seriously need to think about this…" Antonio stood up, his face twisted in a rather pained and at the same time angry expression.

"I don't want this conversation with you guys." He turned and walked away, back to the crowd where everyone was having fun.

"Antonio…" Francis said softly and exchanged a look with Gilbert, but he shook his head. Francis sighed and walked off too, he went to Arthur who was standing in the corner of the room with Alfred.

"HeeEEeyy FRrraaANcisss~!" Arthur slurred as he almost hung from Alfred's shoulder.

"Arthur? Are you drunk? At a baby shower?!" Francis asked as he saw him act so strangely. Oh god, Arthur drank alcohol at strangest occasions. But seriously, why now?! And how did he even get alcohol? Did someone give it to him?

"Hehe, *hick* mayybeee~. Hey Alfrrred, I have a secrret~!" Arthur said and whispered something in the Country's ear. Alfred looked first a little surprised, but then a smirk spread over his lips.

"Really? If you say so. But that can't right here." Alfred looked around with such a strange expression as if he was trying to steal the household's money.

"Huh? What did he say?"

"Oh, haha, that's a secret. Come, Iggy, let's go somewhere private then." Alfred said and helped Arthur walk with him.

"I saiid I want to get fucked~!" Arthur laughed.

"Where the hell do you think you're going American?!" Francis growled. Arthur would thank him for this later.

"I am going to do 'you know what' with Arthur." Alfred laughed as he winked Francis goodbye.

"N-Non! You are not going to do anything to Iggy! He is drunk Alfred!" Alfred shrugged.

"Nah…"

"Look who the pervert is now! Hm!" Francis snapped as he grabbed Alfred's hand and pulled it fiercely.

"Let go off me!

"But Alfred! You know what can happen when you do this! And I don't think Angleterre will be very happy when he finds out!" Alfred stared at Francis with a dumb and flabbergasted look. Come on, didn't the guy understand that he was making a wrong decision? Was he really that childish?

"What go wrong?" Francis sighed deeply and slapped Alfred's in the face, pointing his hand fiercely at Elyse who was happily talking to Elizaveta and Gilbert.

"Yeah… I know that there are kids here."

"No! One of you might end up carrying the baby of the other!" Francis said as he slapped Alfred once again, Arthur practically fell onto the ground but quickly leaned on the couch now bursting into laughter.

"Hahaha! Don't be ridiiiiicilous Fraaannnnnciiiissss… Babies come from stoooork…" Arthur laughed and Francis sighed deeply, Arthur really was drunk, he was getting off guard and doing things he would regret later if they didn't stop it. Francis carefully helped Arthur to lay down on the couch. "I'm not tired Francisssss!" Arthur purred.

"You will thank me later…" The Frenchman responded and gazed back towards the American. "Alfred… Some things are not good to do when you are drunk. You might get knocked up or even worse." A shiver ran down Francis' spine as he thought about it yet he sounded calm now and not even close to exploding. Alfred had to agree on that.

"Yeah, you're right dude. Maybe it isn't a good idea…" Francis sighed in relief and tapped the other's shoulder. "I'll save that one for later." Francis immediately pulled Alfred's ear angrily.

"Are you out of your mind?! No you are not, you pervert!"

They went home after the party had ended and Francis helped Arthur upstairs.

"Be careful, don't fall now Brittain." The Frenchman spoke soothing. He was just trying to help even though Alfred would probably hate him forever after this… Not that he cared in the first place. It was a little sad though… Because before all this they were rather good friends.

"Franciiiiis~! I'm not tiiiiired!"

"Just put on your pyjamas Cheri, you'll thank me later." Francis turned around and Arthur grumbled as he got out of his clothes. Francis was standing at the end of the bed, facing away from Arthur, when suddenly he was shoved from behind. "What the…?!" He fell onto the bed and felt Arthur get on top of him.

"I saiiid I don't WANT to go to sleep~! You know what! We should fuck!"

"A-Arthur! No! Get off!" Francis managed to get Arthur off of him and he quickly got off the bed. "Go to sleep! I'm not going to… have sex with you... Stop it and just sleep!" Francis put Arthur in bed and quickly got out of the room. No matter how badly he wanted to have sex with him he also knew that Arthur would regret it later if they did… And probably scold at Francis for allowing him to have sex while he was still drunk. So he just did what would be best for both of them, stay out of sight for now, and maybe, just maybe, save it for another time.

It was funny, for how long Arthur's head hurted after this event. Even after one week it hadn't gone away! Whenever Arthur asked about it Francis only told him the smallest amount because telling the whole story might really annoy him. He would probably scold things at them like "Why didn't you stop me from drinking it?!" or "We didn't do anything did we?".

One day Francis wanted to take Arthur with him on a walk sadly he was unable to go just with Arthur because Alfred really HAD to go with them. At least that was what he kept saying, in the end the both just had to deal with the fact that they weren't going to have a peaceful walk, alone with Arthur. Even so Francis tried to stay positive and took Arthur's hand gently in his.

"Isn't this amazing Arthur?" Before Arthur even could response to that question Alfred jumped at the two of them, giving them a rather awkward group hug.

"Ehehe… Of cooourse it is Fraaaancis." Alfred said, trying to hide the slight annoyance in his voice, which to tell the truth, pleased Francis. Francis sighed deeply when suddenly an idea poppet inside his head.

"Oh! I'll be right back mon Cheri!" Francis smiled as he ran even further inside the park and started picking flowers. Most where daisies since there weren't many other flowers growing around. He started to make a flower crown because he was in a romantic mood a few weeks he had to work at the French borders, which was most of the time around 6 o'clock in the evening. Alfred chuckled as he saw Francis wandering away and took his chance to flirt with Arthur… Again. Francis returned with a nicely braided flower crown just in time and would hope to please Arthur with it.

"Oh mon cheri~ This will make you look just magnifique! Let me just-" He tried to put it on Arthur's head but the British Nation hit it out of Francis' hands.

"Don't touch me, you dirty wanker!" Francis was incredibly disappointed that Arthur rejected what he made for him. Then they noticed Ludwig walking their way, pushing a stroller. Since they were living in Germany for quite some time now they did notice that Ludwig actually didn't live that far away from them. Yes the way to the baby shower seemed very long, but that was because everyone was silent and nervous about meeting this new – whatever she represented – child. Francis walked over and wanted to take a look at Bella when suddenly heard Ludwig whispered something to him.

"Maybe you should try and take him zo a romantic place." Francis looked up "Nohoho~ that's a great idea! Like a restaurant under the starry sky at a cloudless night and the moon shining high. Some wine and delicious food~…! Merci, Ludwig!" Arthur walked over too as Francis looked at the little girl.

"Isn't she stupéfiant? Like a little flower!" Francis said.

"If you two are careful you may hold her." Ludwig spoke softly, not as intimidating as he normally was. Francis carefully held the delicate being in his arms as Arthur was taken away for a moment.

"You are hurting the poor Country by saying no and scolding him all the time… Maybe you need to give him a chance. I know that he's a pervert, but you really should." Ludwig said, Arthur was a little surprised and a bit annoyed by what he said. He didn't expect something that considerate to come from this rough man. Maybe parenthood and being with that Italian was effecting him.

"It's not that simple you know, if I just go out with Francis then HE will-…" Arthur was cut off as Alfred approached them.

"Hey there A! What are you doing dude?" He said loudly.

"Oh god…" Arthur sighed as the other Country wrapped his strong arms around him. Alfred quickly let go off of Arthur, blinked his eyes a few times at the sight of Bella, which Francis held in his arms and was immediately looking at the baby girl.

"Awww! I want to see her to! I still need to get used to the fact of you and Feli being parents!" Ludwig laughed slightly, a deep and strong laugh which was rather creepy since Ludwig didn't laugh often. Once again Ludwig leaned closer to Arthur as soon as Alfred had left to go and see Bella and started to whisper again.

"Normally I wouldn't help people with these kind of issues… Nor do I have much help to offer about it. But you aren't ugly England. Let's just say that France does like you for real, which has only happened once before and you know how that ended. And when he does love someone, he tries to put his own feelings aside to make the other happy. Secretly… Alfred also has an eye on you, in case you haven't found out yet." Ludwig smirked, leaning back and watching proudly how the two guys reacted calmly over the sight of the baby. Francis smiled happily at the sight of the child and both Arthur and Alfred could tell that something was a bit off. He had never been like this around children. He smiled at the two and his smile was almost… sad?

"Isn't she just gorgeous, like an angel?" Francis cooed as he looked back at the baby. Francis would act pretty weird around children lately… Yet he had this, almost motherly, instinct inside of him. Arthur turned back to look at Ludwig and blushed madly.

"You don't have to tell me that! I already know… But how am I supposed to choose? I-I mean if I was into that of course, which I'm not! Don't get the wrong idea!" Arthur said, blinking his eyes rapidly. Ludwig sighed deeply and a rare but friendly smile appeared over the German's lips.

"Maybe you should let them choice for you. Go after your heart. Love finds each other and isn't really a decision though. If you are made for one of these you will eventually fall in love with them alone and then done! The decision will be made. France waned you on a daze… But he doesn't dare to ask you because he knows you will say no. What if YOU will be the one to ask him for once?" Arthur sighed deeply and gazed at the two guys he cared about.

"That's kind of the problem, if I go out with one of them, the other will surely get jealous and… Wait, why am I even telling YOU this?" Arthur frowned and shook his head. He knew that he was actually telling him things that had already happened. "Never mind, just forget I ever said anything to you."

Francis came back to them and gave Bella back to Ludwig. He smiled at the two, a new kind of emotion in his eyes.

"Well, we should go, mon Cheri! I have a surprise for you~!" Francis said and pulled Arthur with him by his arm.

"Hey dudes, wait up! I want to come too you know!" Alfred yelled as he hurried after the two countries. Francis rolled his eyes as Alfred ran after them, why did that American have to tag along? He planned on taking Arthur out for lunch, he wouldn't be able to have dinner with him like he had imagined because he had to work tonight, but it was still something. He got an idea an started running faster, out of the park and into the streets of the German city, dragging Arthur along.

"Ow! You wank-… You're hurting me! Let me go!" Arthur yelled, he didn't call him names because he thought of what Ludwig had said earlier. Maybe he was being a little too harsh on them.

"Hey dudes! Don't go so fast! I can't keep up like this! Hey! Wait up!" Alfred yelled as he struggled to keep track of the other two Countries. 'That's the point!' Francis thought and went a bit faster and eventually Alfred stopped running. His friend – since somewhere Alfred still felt like a friend – had disappeared in the streets and he was exhausted of the chase. Francis pulled Arthur in a restaurant where they finally stopped running.

"What the hell Francis?! What was that good for?!" Arthur panted as he pulled his arm back.

"I wanted to have lunch with you alone mon Cheri" Francis said after he caught his breath. Arthur rolled his eyes and patted the Frenchman's shoulder. Really? Couldn't he just walk a little… Slower? Or explain to Alfred that he wanted to have dinner al-… Wait a second, even if Francis would have explained that to Alfred it wouldn't have made any difference. These two never listened to one another… Let alone to himself.

"Oh Francis. You are so dragging when you want something." Arthur exclaimed while Francis smiled as his long, blonde, tied back hair waved in the wind. He bow as he gestured Arthur to go inside first like a real gentleman. And so did Arthur. The restaurant was nothing out of the ordinary, it looked rather simple, but also cosy in a way. They took a seat by the window and Francis glanced at the bouquet of roses at the table, oh how much he had missed these colourful flowers.

An awkward silence filled the place, as if everybody started whispering as soon as they had entered the small restaurant. The silence was devening and both Nations were wondering if it was just their mind playing tricks on them or that it actually was this silent. An old couple stared at them as if they had done something wrong, it felt like their eyes were burning in their skin. Damn, it felt these old lads really couldn't get their eyes of you nowadays.

Francis quickly tried to get Arthur's attention by giving him the menu card and his blue eyes looked at him in an intense way as if he was telling him "Don't stare at old couples!". He could have come up with that himself, but anyway, why wasn't he allowed to stare at them while they also stared at him!

"You're ridiculous…" He muttered and rolled his eyes towards the menu card, searching for something he might like. The card looked quite fancy compared to the restaurant itself, it had cute little flowers on the sides and the dishes were written down with elegant calligraphy lettering.

"Mon Cheri?" Arthur noticed Francis concerned look and he could make sense that he was actually asking him something. No, instead of asking "What is wrong Arthur?" Francis just gave him the are-you-okay-or-is-something-wrong-look.

"What is it Francis?" He sighed, peeking from underneath the menu towards Francis, oh god, he looked simply adorable with that almost innocent look on his face. As if he was trying to make Arthur just pinch his adorable cheeks right here and right now.

"Uhm… You seem a bit… Tense. Is something wrong darling?" Arthur bit his under lip, Francis sounded way to cute when he was worried about him, it was almost irresistible.

"N-Nothing really… What are you going to order?" Arthur quickly said, trying to talk about another topic. Yes, there was something wrong, but he didn't want to talk about that right now… And especially not right here… With Francis.

"Oh! I think I'll take the Maultaschen." God, how could he even say that name! Seriously, Germans really give their dishes hard names… Not to mention that France does the same… And Spain… And… Well, let's just say that a lot of Countries give their dishes difficult names.

"Well, never heard about that before, but sounds… Interesting?" While the two emerald eyes drifted back towards the card his eyes fell on a name he was able to pronounce compared to all the others. "Schnitzel. I'll take the schnitzel."

"Do you really think you'll be able to eat that whole 'schnitzel'?" Francis asked teasingly. Oh come on, he was just trying to be nice, why was he even teasing him?

"Where was that for?!" Arthur snapped, he wanted to slap Francis in the face like he always used to do but immediately remembered the words Ludwig told him and decided that it wasn't a very good idea. Frog.

"Honhonhon." And… Everyone stared at Francis as soon as he did that awkward laugh and Arthur felt like shrinking into one. "It's just, schnitzels are very big here in Germany! They aren't the kind of schnitzels you are used to!"

"Quite it Francis! I'm not in the mood for this, right now." Just quite the fuzzing and get to the point Arthur! Ugh, why couldn't he just talk normally to Francis in these kind of situations. Was it because he really was starting to feel embarrassed in such a crowded place when being with the Frenchman? But what if Francis would become his partner in the end? What?! Oh come on Arthur! You can't seriously think that! You can't seriously choose for the one that has been your enemy for so many damn years! But wait… He was also very caring wasn't he? When he was ill, or feeling down and… Had he ever done something for Francis? Not really… Well he did bake some scones but Francis didn't really seem… to like them. He did eat them though! But only to please Arthur. Because really, his scones were like poison.

Lucky a waitress came and disturbed the difficult thought. If it he hadn't snapped out of it he would probably have slapped himself in the face… Which would probably would cause even more attention. Arthur told what they wanted and the waitress noted them down before going back to the kitchen. A few minutes later she came back with cutlery… The cutlery looked quite cheap but that didn't matter, as long as the food would taste good.

"Oops…" Just as Arthur was about to pick his knife up for whatever reason, it fell out of his hand. He sighed and bow down to the ground to grab it just when Arthur was about to grab his knife Francis made the same movement and they intertwined their hands.

At first they didn't notice it until their eyes drifted towards their intertwined hands back towards each other's faces, they met each other's eyes. And both their hearts skipped a beat or two. They stayed like that for a while just sitting there and gazing into each other's eyes, not even noticing when their cheeks flushed pure red. Their heart started to beat twice as fast and the two Nations tried to think about something else by laughing it off. They quickly turned their heads away from one another, but they still held each other's hands firmly.

After a while their food was finally brought to them and the exact same moment a child walked inside with his mother and Francis' eyes immediately where caught by the sight. His expression turned indescribable sad, the poor Nation, something had been off those past few… weeks?

"F-Francis?! Why do you keep looking at children so much lately?!" Arthur asked a little curious. Yes he was curious, don't tell me you wouldn't get curious when the same thing keeps happening for so many weeks? "Everybody has an opinion about what you should do, but the only person that knows the best what to do are you." Francis sighed deeply and quickly looked back at Arthur and blinked a few times.

"Huh? O-oh nothing, hehe, don't mind it." He said but Arthur shook his head.

"No! Something's wrong, please Francis. I care about you, please, you can tell me." Arthur said and placed his hand over Francis' once again.

"Well… It's, lately I've just had this feeling. And especially now with Bella, I just feel like I want a little child of my own." Francis murmured and looked down at their intertwined hands on the table. Arthur blinked a few times, he had no idea. "I know it's not possible… But I just I can't help it."

Arthur blinked his eyes a few times. He felt pretty sorry for Francis and he really understood what he meant. After all, they had been alone for so long and since most of the Countries were breaking the rules now by having kids of their own, it was possible.

"Can you imagine? A child of your own, of your flesh and blood at that of the one you love the most. You need to teach it things, look after it and protect it!" Francis laughed but as soon as he saw Arthur's expression his smile disappeared and he sighed sadly. "It is just a dream that is never going to come true…" Arthur looked slightly down.

"Never say never Francis…" Arthur sighed before he put his other hand at the shoulder of his best friend. "It will be alright… I promise. I think most of the Countries have been suffering from this lately. Even I. But for you it's getting really hard. " Francis nodded slightly.

"Qui mon Cheri… I just wish it could come true." Arthur smiled sadly.

"Come here you…" And he showed his soft side by standing up, walking over to Francis and pulling him in for a hug. Francis started to smile again as he hugged his friend back. At least he had Arthur. Who did care about him.

"Thanks Arthur… I really don't know what I should have to do without you…"

The day passed smoothly and Francis worked just like always at the borders and so the next day when suddenly that night a new car appeared in front of the border and it was in a hurry.

As the car came closer he recognized the people inside the car, it were Antonio, Lovino, Feliciano, Ludwig, Bella and Rome. He went over to his two colleagues.

"Hey, why don't you take a break? I'll stay here on guard." They exchanged looks and shrugged, then went to a building a bit away from there. The car pulled over and Francis walked up to it.

"Bonjour~! Now we're even, right Luddy? You can go on, au revoir~!" Francis opened the gates for them and the car crossed the border. The rest of his shift just went as usual and he went back home afterwards.

Some months passed and the seasons changed. It was a rainy autumn afternoon and Francis and Alfred were fighting over Arthur again. They had been the past months but this time it was really bad.

"I'm telling you to stay the FUCK away from him dude!" Alfred took a few intimidating steps closer to Francis and took a moment to think of something more intimidating but as soon as he wanted to open his mouth Francis started to shout back at him.

"Non! You need to leave him alone you imbécil!" Francis shouted and took a few steps back.

"Well I WON'T so back off you smelly frog!" The American shouted and hit Francis in the face.

"No way you fat brainless idiot!" Francis shouted and hit Alfred back. "You know, we were friends once, right? What happened? That's long gone now isn't it? You even forgot that I used to raise you together with Arthur!"

Alfred burned with anger now and took a strong step forwards. How dare he say that to him?!

"You know what?! Arthur will never like you! I mean just look at you, you have been fighting all the time with him! You start flirting with every boy and girl you see! And you couldn't even protect Jeanne let alone Arthur! You just allowed her to burn at the stake to ashes! And noooo, there was nothing you did to save her but pray!" Alfred scolded. Francis' body turned stone cold and he felt his heart sting, normally he wouldn't have cared about his words, but the last words came as blow to the stomach. His… Jeanne… Every time somebody talked about her he felt like crying. It was true… Everything he said was true. And he looked down.

"Yeah! Just be embarrassed because you aren't even trust worthy!" Arthur who had kind of been watching how this fight would unpack took a firm step forwards, his expression turning fierce and cautionary.

"Alfred stop." He said calmly but Alfred didn't even listen to Arthur's words and just continued scolding.

"You know what dude?! You aren't even worth him! So just go crying in a corner! And think about all the things you've done wrong in life!" He was pushed away, at first Alfred couldn't make sense of what was happening until he realised that Arthur was actually standing right in front of him. He was protecting Francis and never had he seen Arthur this angry. His teeth were tightly clasped against each other, his eyes literally spat fire and his hands were formed to fists.

"ALFRED STOP!" Arthur screamed and took a few steps closer to Arthur.

"A-Arthur…?" Alfred stuttered, he seemed just as flabbergasted as Francis was.

"That is enough! Stop scolding at Francis you fucking wanker! If there has been somebody who has been there the most for me then it was Francis! Yes we fought a lot in the past but that changed through the years and we became friends. We have been through so much together and he even showed me a softer side of him. So stop scolding at him dammit! I'm getting seriously ill of you! Francis is just trying to make the best out of it. He's even trying to stop the fights, but you always start! You lure it! This is the reason why I have had so much trouble with talking to you lately! You're just being a jerk! And…" He glanced at Francis with a sweet smile and Francis' heart melted, never had he seen Arthur look at him that way. "Because I love him…" Francis smiled surprised as he softly put his hand in front of his lips, he was even trying to blink back some tears.

"Oh Arthur…" Soft whispers escaped his lips as several tears left his sky-blue eyes. The American looked down, his face without emotion, he didn't even seem sad at first but as soon as he started to talk there was disappointment in his voice.

"So… You chose for him in the end…" It didn't even sound like a question as Alfred knew the answer.

"Yes." He glanced back at Francis who now had burst into tears of joy. And Alfred sighed deeply, now trying to hold back tears, the poor guy, he saw it coming but still, now the moment was there it just didn't feel right.

"Okay then…" And he ran upstairs, none of them even being able to stop him.

"Alfred!" Arthur shouted. But it was too late, someone put his hand on his shoulder and Arthur turned around a little confused at first to see Francis' sky-blue eyes.

"You really meant everything you just said?" A dark blush came across Arthur's cheeks, he had just made his decision. And yet, he was almost unable to believe it.

"But… Why would you choose for someone like me? I flirt a lot with other people, we fight a lot, we-…"

"I don't care Francis! Because no matter what, you are always very trust worthy to your true loves… And I believe in you." Francis choked back some tears and smiled sadly, yet he seemed more happy than ever before.

"And I can't even protect you." Francis mumbled, avoiding Arthur's eyes, he was afraid for what might be coming.

"Oh Francis… You really don't have to protect me to get my love! I love you anyway! No matter what!" Francis eyes widened, tears flowing down his cheeks as if he was trying to make a river when suddenly the most beautiful laugh escaped his lips and he ran into the arms of the male he loved. Now, he was finally able to kiss Arthur the way he had always wanted it, no it wasn't just that it was a kiss on the lips, but it was a kiss out of true love. Arthur had made his choice… And he wanted Francis.

Alfred ran out of the living room and up to the attic, he needed some space right now. He locked the door and sat down between several boxes that were never unpacked since they moved here. He swallowed and tried to keep it in, but the burning tears just started to flow. The drops fell on the floorboards like the rain outside. He sobbed and cried for a long time before he finally calmed down slightly, his gaze fell on the boxes and he opened one. Inside was a little dress that looked like it was a kid's size. Alfred recognized the piece of clothing, it was his when he was little.

"I wore this when I was still so small… Back when Arthur still loved me…" He started crying again and he could feel his heart ache, he wished he could just turn back time, back to those happy times. Where did it go wrong? When did Arthur stop loving him? What did he do wrong? If only he could make up for his mistakes. He put down the piece of clothing and opened another box. Inside were more clothes, but those were bigger.

"Was this when it started…? When I became independent…" A few more teardrops left the corners of his eyes while he stared at these clothes, memories coming back. "Arthur and Francis… They look so happy together…" He whimpered. And again more memories hit his thought, of how they became friends, always were together, danced and gave presents. How they always slept next to each other and how Arthur comforted him at stormy nights. He started to feel worse. He knew the difference between wanting what you can't have and wanting what you shouldn't have and he shouldn't want him.

After a while Alfred finally stood up and wiped his tears away, his eyes hurted just as much as his heart. Arthur had been the first person he met… But of course… Francis and Arthur knew each other longer. Alfred sighed deeply as he stood up. He needed to go away and easy his mind, so he did. He took the backdoor and ran away from the house but no matter where he ran, everywhere were memories of Arthur, so in the end he just ended up in the park and curled up at the bench. He started to cry even more, why?! Why was he even crying?! Arthur was happy right? Right?! And yet again, he felt guilty of the terrible things he'd said to Francis back there. Why was he even scolding about Jeanne, while knowing she had meant the world to him?!

Alfred was getting soaked by the rain and he sat with his legs pulled up against his chest. He was cold and the hurt, but that's what he deserved after what he had said to Francis. How could he have been so heartless, saying those horrible, horrible things.

"I'm so sorry, I should never have said that. I didn't mean it… I'm so, so sorry…" He sobbed when suddenly a warm hand rested on his shoulder and he flinched and turned around with a gasp. To his fear it was Francis standing behind him with a strangely concerned expression on his face. "F-Francis! I…"

"Shht, it's alright." Alfred stood up and walked over to Francis and fell into his arms, hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry! I should have never…!" Francis was as soaked as he was, why was he outside anyway?

"W-what are you doing here?" His sweet voice said. Damn, he didn't deserve that sweet voice after that fight. "You weren't in your room so me and Britain went looking for you. We've been searching for over an hour for you!"

"R-Really?" Where they really that worried about him?

"Oui! Now let's go inside before we catch a cold…" Francis said with a warm smile. Why was he being so nice? Wasn't he mad? Alfred wiped his face, wet from the rain and his tears.

"You found him! Thank god!" Arthur said as he returned home, drenched, and saw Francis and Alfred were there. Alfred had a blanket pulled around him and stared at Arthur but immediately looked away. He couldn't. He couldn't look into those green emeralds that in the end didn't belong to him. His mouth changed and he stared down as he tried to hold back his tears once again. He was a hero! Heroes don't cry.

"I… I'm sorry… I'm so terribly sorry. I-I shouldn't have… Shouldn't have said such terrible words." Alfred whimpered and again he burst into tears, he wished he hadn't start crying again, not right in front of Arthur! Arthur looked at Francis and back at Arthur and they both pulled him in for a hug. And they stayed like that for a while until Alfred had started to calm down a bit and no more tears were left to be shed.

"I… I am going to sleep now. I am tired." He muttered. His eyes were red from crying, just as his nose and his cheeks. He sighed deeply while standing up and went without saying 'goodnight' to his room.

A few months passed and it became November. Alfred had been a bit depressed since Arthur and Francis got together but he had been trying not to let the other's notice. He just felt kind of… Like a fifth wheel on the wagon. Francis and Arthur already slept in the same room after a few weeks, which saddened him even more. He just felt like he wasn't loved by anybody, Francis and Arthur sure said they cared about him but they obviously cared way more about each other.

Alfred decided to go out for a stroll, he just couldn't stand being inside all the time anymore. He put on his boots and coat and he wrapped Arthur's scarf around his neck. He went outside and met with the cold air, he pulled up the scarf to his nose and put his hands in his pockets. The scarf had Arthur's scent in it and it just somehow made him feel comfortable, such a familiar scent.

He went to the park and sat down on a snow covered bench. He watched the couples who were ice-skating on the frozen pond and couldn't hold back a smile that curled his lips. It was such a lovely winter scene which made him kind of happy and kind of sad at the same time.

After a while he started to feel cold and he decided to go home. He got up and walked down the path when he suddenly noticed a familiar figure standing up ahead. Blond, wavy hair, light brown winter coat, a small pair of glasses on the tip of his nose hiding away the most beautiful violet eyes.

It took Alfred a moment to realize who he really was looking at. The memories slowly flowing back, one by one, piece by piece. How could he have forgotten, such an important person! Alfred just started running and smiling and laughing and crying and embraced him as he felt love flow through him.

"Matthew!" Alfred said but the scarf muffled his voice, so he pulled it off and threw it away. "Matthew! Matthew, Matthew, Matthew!" It was all he could bring out as he held every piece of him as close as possible, taking in his warmth and scent and softness.

"A-Alfred!"

"Matthew! What are you doing here?! I thought you were in jail!" Alfred said as he looked him in the eyes, still with his arms around him.

"Well, I was, but as time went by, the guards stopped bringing food for me. They only brought a meal for my cellmate, but he never ate anything anyway, so I ate it. They didn't bring me to the phycologist anymore and it seemed like they had forgotten about me, like always. And a few days ago I just walked out, they didn't even notice me at all. I went to Francis' house but no one was there so I went to Berlin after hearing that you were living in Germany. But when I came there, there was no sign of any of you. So instead I just called Germany, how could I even forget that! I was so excited to hear that he and Italy had a baby. They really deserve it. Bella was her name if I'm correct? They no longer lived in Germany, I was a little confused at first but they did know where you lived so they told me. And here I am!" Matthew said in his soft voice. Alfred hugged him again.

"I missed you so much Matthew! Please never leave again!"

"A-Alfred… I won't." He said and hugged him back. "You're so cold, let's go inside somewhere." Matthew whispered. Alfred nodded and took his hand and they left the park, the scarf being lifted and blown away by the wind to be forgotten.

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To be continue...
Warning!! This story contains mpreg, yaoi, sexuality, dark, depression, gore, abortion (character dead), suicide-mentions, self-harm, dead (not of the main characters), sometimes a bit OOC, slight grammatical errors (English is not my first language, but it won't be hard to understand, I promise).
If you don't like any of the above standing mentions you can Always turn back and leave this story.

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I decided to upload this story here as well, for the people who prefer not to visit fanfiction all the time. :3
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Cover image by: :iconmimicraft2503:
Hetalia (c) Himaruya-San
© 2014 - 2024 JackXAngelicaforever
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